What follows is an exchange of e-mails from a poster to TheGeekhouse.com by the username of +BoB+. His first post was full of vitrol, and immediatly accuesed the board's users of not knowing what they're talking about. Subsequent posts by him confirmed that his lack of BBS ettiquet and social skills was sincere.
Naturally, I had to have some fun at his expense.
Oh man, if he only knew... :)+BoB+'s first post to the BBS
Windows, Blaster, and Remote Procedure Call The best line is: "it is obvious you don't know computers, networks, wan, lan, routers, etc...".
First thing I noticed was that the IP address Pete's e-mail originated from was the same as +BoB+'s IP address when he posts to the BBS. So, a quick whois check confirmed my suspicion that Pete is +BoB+ (he even registered the same e-mail address, n_urdreams@hotmail.com on the BBS and his domain name).+BoB+'s first e-mail
(High-Priority) To: robot@thegeekhouse.com Subject: interested in your site !?!? Hey, I'm from AR and I noticed your site. I have a little site of my own (it's no big deal, just a personal site) I would like to become a member of your site. Are you taking members now?? my site: dr-watson.net Thanks, Larry P Watson
After catching my coworkers up on his initial posts, I passed the e-mail around the office for some laughs. This was about two hours of my day. Feeling sorry for the guy, I decided to give ole +BoB+ another chance, even though he said that he didn't need our site. I sent him the following e-mail, requesting apologies in exchange for his account to be restored.
Just over an hour later, I received the following reply.My first e-mail reply
(Normal Priority) To: admin@dr-watson.net Subject: Re: interested in your site !?!? BoB, I'll let you back in under several conditions: You'll apologize for being a jerk to the real members. You'll explain why you were being a jerk in the first place. You'll promise not to do it again. You'll also apologize to me *on the board* for trying to trick me into letting you create a new account as a "different" user. If you're OK with that, I'll send you your new password. If you can't agree to these terms, then never visit any of my sites again, or bother any us again. -Quade Sysadmin of TheGeekhouse.com Sysadmin of BlueUnderTheTongue.com Sysadmin of EntropyEffect.com
Of course, I shared this one as well, because it's still pretty funny.+BoB+'s reply to my reply
To: quade@thegeekhouse.com Subject: Re: interested in your site !?!? good job on your "investigation" way to go Dick Tracy LMAO anyway, i will not apologize for anything. so get over it. either you let me become a member or not it's no biggie either way
I decided to not reply, because he won't accept my terms, and since not, there's no point in talking to this guy much more. Instead, I decided to go to his site, dr-watson.net, at his request. I created an account, after sitting through some of the worst mistakes a webmaster can make (music on the site, bad Flash and graphics, and a below-standards installation out-of-the-box blog/forums/news site full of Engrish cleverly labeled "PHP Version".)
After spending what seems like forever trying to navigate through the most poorly designed web site I've seen since 1998, I created an account under the name Turd_Ferguson, after the loveable SNL character. Almost immediately after receiving my password via e-mail, I reced another message from good ole +BoB+.
With +BoB+'s blessing to "do whatever" I made my first journal entry, which appears below. I must apologize for the formatting though, since his journal (blog?) software was a little lacking in the usability department.+BoB+'s threat
Subject: mcmdwthagler1 look mcmdwthagler i know your on my site. go ahead and have fun. do whatever, but i'm watching you.
Well, this was fun, and that's when I decided to create the game What about +BoB+?. I figured we could all spend some time on his forum (provided we could all figure out how to use his POS site.)My first journal entry
By: Turd_Ferguson Posted on: 08-15-2003 @ 04:10 pm So there's this guy, whom I've never met, who decided that he'd mess with me and a bunch of friends because he's far more 1337 than us lam3r n00bs. Now, I have no idea what got up the ass of this 32-year-old from Benton, AR, but he's taken it upon himself to take out his lonliness on a random group of people. It's sad what three decades of no sex can do to a pathetic man-boy. So, after he was removed from our site, he emails me, posing as a different person, asking if he can join our club. Wow, is it that important to him to have friends? OK, so I give him the chance to apologize to those he insulted without provocation, and he LMAOs me. Then, when I visit his site at his request, he sends me another threatening email, letting me know that he's watching me. Oooooooohhhhhh.... WTF is this guy's deal? How on Earth can anyone be this pathetic? Is his mall-job *that* infullfilling? What a retard.
Well, a few minutes after posting "My first journal entry", I received another unsolicited e-mail from our good friend +BoB+.
Ummm, sure +BoB+.+BoB+'s next e-mail
To: quade@thegeekhouse.com Subject: to be honest hey man, to be honest, you guys do seem pretty kewl. sure you can play with my forum, "IF u can figure it out" anyway... you guys take care and have fun.
So, I post this page, and get two more e-mails from +BoB+ back-to-back, almost .
+BoB+ seems to like to censor the word "bullshit" (not that he always gets it right...). But thankfully, I have his blessing to say what I want about him. Already, I'm teeming with words to describe him; such as "worthless" and "lonely". The phrase "bit off more than he can chew" also makes an appearance in my head.+BoB+ thanks me
Subject: thx 4 the free advertisement thx 4 the free advertisement. say what you will about me, it's all good and i don't have a problem with it. o' by the way Saint or Jonathan is the one with the job at the mall, not me. anyway, i was just bull *hitting with you guys and your taking it a little too far. but i'll not worry about it. glad you do have a few networking skills. guess i was wrong about you. keep up the good job. it is too funny to see ur insults........ later...... bob aka larry aka dr-watson ............ whatever
Wow, no worries here either, except that +BoB+ doesn't appear to appreciate my glowing tribute in his honor. I guess I'll have to just try harder.+BoB+ is getting frustrated
Subject: quade To: quade@thegeekhouse.com quade "let it go" man. chill out. take a break. enjoy ur site and ur friends. and i'll enjoy mine. and again, thank you for the free advertisement. even with your insults, you guys / gals do seem pretty kewl. no worries here. -- -Paul Watson
+BoB+'s even taken to writing to my brother, Nilrem. Nilrem was kind enough to forward +BoB+'s e-mail to him, as well as his reply to +BoB+. Interestingly enough, he forwarded the last e-mail he wrote to me to Nilrem, as if Nilrem hadn't already seen it. Why he did it this way, I have no clue.
And Nilrem's response:+BoB+ writes to Nilrem
To: nilrem@thegeekhouse.com Subject: Fwd: thx 4 the free advertisement > my life may be boring, but i guess yours is too. seems like you two > are > very interested in what i do and what i don't do. > it's kinda funny.
Appearantly, +BoB+ isn't the only one that's receiving free advertising. I hope that doesn't make +BoB+ feel like any less of a man.Nilrem strikes back
No, sorry, I couldn't care less about what you do, and have no interest in you at all. My life is actually very busy doing real stuff that your petty crap means very little and takes none of my time. I am happy to write you this e-mail though to let you know this, since I know you are very board and lonely and this will probably be the highlight of your decade; the time someone out there took interest and the time to respond to one of your illiterate emails. I am sorry for you, in the fact that this is your best attempt at making friends. Here are a few services that might help you in the future; I threw in some good reading material too. I took the time to search for these for you so you wouldn’t have to, no thanks is necessary, I like to help people. www.match.com www.efriendz.com www.penpalgarden.com http://www.wattspublishing.co.uk/mfwith.htm http://kyky.essortment.com/howtomakefrie_rlfy.htm Sincerely, Nilrem
Wow, +BoB+ sure is a jovial fellow. He's always laughing his ass off at just about everything he says.+BoB+'s reply to Nilrem's reply
From: +Paul+ To: nilrem Subject: Re: thx 4 the free advertisement] yep you guys are so superior to me. i am simply blown away. man i could care less about you guys / gals. and none of you should consider writing back. i am blocking all emails from the geekhouse. have a good life. nomad - lmao...
But on the subject of blocking e-mails... so far, the count of e-mails sent is seven to two in +BoB+'s favor (not to mention his vehement posts to the BBS for no appearent reason whatsoever), so I can't imagine why +BoB+ has blocked e-mails from us. If anything, it's +BoB+'s e-mails that should be blocked.
But then, people at TheGeekhouse.com don't go around posting to random boards, being a big fat prick to people we don't know. And they don't think that they can get off light by being a big fat jerk, and then say they were only kidding, and that the other party should just get over it.
No, we got balls, unlike some people.